something I heard on a recent conference call…
Jim Rohn-“ 3 key question to ask yourself” … This was/is truly enlightening!
***Remember that sometimes your attitude is affected mostly by those you surround yourself with. Ask yourself 3 Key questions. 1.Who am I around?, 2.What are they doing to me, got me doing, acting thinking or feeling 3. Is that ok? If those people are affecting you negatively, pulling you down! Then you have a major decision to make…Disassociation, limited association, and of course expanded associations to get around positive people that exhibit character/dependability, honesty/integrity, optimistic, encouraging & uplifting. ***
One of my favorite quotes by John Andrews ! He said” there is no exercise better for the heart than reaching down and lifting people up”
Have a Blessed Day!
Tina & Michael Terry
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Life would be easier.....
Below is another article taken out of Jim Rohn ezine thought I would include it too, since it was along the same line as my previous post.
1. Life Would Be Easy... If It Weren't for DIFFICULT People by Connie Podesta
Go on, it’s okay. Admit it! We all know that life would be a whole lot easier if we didn’t have to deal with those few (or many) difficult people we just can’t seem to avoid. I think you know who I’m talking about…
What’s not okay is to give up something you need, want or deserve because of their rude, obnoxious, sullen, and apathetic habits. Yes, I do mean “habits.” If you’re tired of playing their game, take charge of your life by taking a good look at yourself! You cannot change them, but you can change what you do and how you act around them, and ultimately how they affect your life.
There’s good news... and there’s bad news.
Difficult people have been trained and taught to act the way they do since they were children. In fact, they have been rewarded for their negative behavior throughout their entire lives. Difficult behavior worked for them as children, and more important, it continues to work for them as adults.
I believe that most of us are born with the capacity and desire to love and be loved. As we grow, we learn to respond to verbal and visual cues and we begin to adjust our behavior to obtain the positive responses we want. Children who can manipulate their parents soon learn to enjoy feelings of power and control over others.
The game of life is basically about “getting our needs met.” And you certainly do play a part! We reward difficult people by giving in to their needs. Think about it. If someone’s behavior is consistently inappropriate or unacceptable toward you, ask yourself if in any way you are rewarding their negative behavior.
For example, Helen gets upset every time Harry mentions that he wants to play golf. Rather than face a 2-hour lecture he usually finds it easier to just stay home. One day, however, he gets angry and accuses her of being a nag who never understands him. Instead of answering back, Helen gets her feelings hurt, stomps off and gives him the silent treatment. Harry takes advantage of her “cold shoulder” and plays a few holes of golf!
Jennifer wins the same “reward” at her new school. Few of the kids would talk to her and some were even making fun of her. She asked to stay in during recess, but the teacher said no. Eventually she gets into a fight and pushes another girl down. The teacher tells Jennifer that fighting is against the rules and she will have to stay inside. What did Jennifer learn? Ask the teacher respectfully and you will not get what you want. Push someone and you can avoid recess!
We have three choices each time we respond to another person: 1. Be positive; 2. Be negative; and 3. Avoid or ignore them. Difficult people see avoidance as a positive response. When we ignore unacceptable, inappropriate behavior, it will usually happen again because our avoidance tells the difficult person that we are willing to accept their behavior.
What do they really want?
Difficult people want to do their own thing, in their own time, in their own way, without interference. In addition, they expect everyone around them to cooperate—even work extra hard—to ensure that this happens. And they do not see anything unreasonable about these expectations. There is little in their experience to signal them that their actions are inappropriate. They also have little (if any) desire or motivation to change their habits.
What can I do about it?
We learn a lot from difficult people. We tolerate their behavior and attitudes as “part of life.” We hold back our feelings and swallow our words. We make concessions even when we do not receive anything in return. We compromise even when it is 90/10 instead of 50/50. We may even question our own ability to relate and communicate with others, reasoning that “Maybe it’s me.”
Since we cannot change difficult people, we can only change ourselves and our reactions to their behavior. They need our cooperation and our permission to intimidate, control and repeatedly manipulate us to get their way. In most relationships, we are treated exactly the way we allow ourselves to be treated.
The good news is that, because we are partly responsible, there is something we can do to create and maintain relationships where we are treated respectfully. That’s great news! By focusing on ourselves and the changes we can make in our own behaviors and reactions, we can begin to take control of how other people treat us—today!
Remember....
"There is no exercise better for the heart than reaching down and lifting people up" ~ John Andrews
“ If you don’t have nothing nice to say…say nothing at all” unknown
1. Life Would Be Easy... If It Weren't for DIFFICULT People by Connie Podesta
Go on, it’s okay. Admit it! We all know that life would be a whole lot easier if we didn’t have to deal with those few (or many) difficult people we just can’t seem to avoid. I think you know who I’m talking about…
What’s not okay is to give up something you need, want or deserve because of their rude, obnoxious, sullen, and apathetic habits. Yes, I do mean “habits.” If you’re tired of playing their game, take charge of your life by taking a good look at yourself! You cannot change them, but you can change what you do and how you act around them, and ultimately how they affect your life.
There’s good news... and there’s bad news.
Difficult people have been trained and taught to act the way they do since they were children. In fact, they have been rewarded for their negative behavior throughout their entire lives. Difficult behavior worked for them as children, and more important, it continues to work for them as adults.
I believe that most of us are born with the capacity and desire to love and be loved. As we grow, we learn to respond to verbal and visual cues and we begin to adjust our behavior to obtain the positive responses we want. Children who can manipulate their parents soon learn to enjoy feelings of power and control over others.
The game of life is basically about “getting our needs met.” And you certainly do play a part! We reward difficult people by giving in to their needs. Think about it. If someone’s behavior is consistently inappropriate or unacceptable toward you, ask yourself if in any way you are rewarding their negative behavior.
For example, Helen gets upset every time Harry mentions that he wants to play golf. Rather than face a 2-hour lecture he usually finds it easier to just stay home. One day, however, he gets angry and accuses her of being a nag who never understands him. Instead of answering back, Helen gets her feelings hurt, stomps off and gives him the silent treatment. Harry takes advantage of her “cold shoulder” and plays a few holes of golf!
Jennifer wins the same “reward” at her new school. Few of the kids would talk to her and some were even making fun of her. She asked to stay in during recess, but the teacher said no. Eventually she gets into a fight and pushes another girl down. The teacher tells Jennifer that fighting is against the rules and she will have to stay inside. What did Jennifer learn? Ask the teacher respectfully and you will not get what you want. Push someone and you can avoid recess!
We have three choices each time we respond to another person: 1. Be positive; 2. Be negative; and 3. Avoid or ignore them. Difficult people see avoidance as a positive response. When we ignore unacceptable, inappropriate behavior, it will usually happen again because our avoidance tells the difficult person that we are willing to accept their behavior.
What do they really want?
Difficult people want to do their own thing, in their own time, in their own way, without interference. In addition, they expect everyone around them to cooperate—even work extra hard—to ensure that this happens. And they do not see anything unreasonable about these expectations. There is little in their experience to signal them that their actions are inappropriate. They also have little (if any) desire or motivation to change their habits.
What can I do about it?
We learn a lot from difficult people. We tolerate their behavior and attitudes as “part of life.” We hold back our feelings and swallow our words. We make concessions even when we do not receive anything in return. We compromise even when it is 90/10 instead of 50/50. We may even question our own ability to relate and communicate with others, reasoning that “Maybe it’s me.”
Since we cannot change difficult people, we can only change ourselves and our reactions to their behavior. They need our cooperation and our permission to intimidate, control and repeatedly manipulate us to get their way. In most relationships, we are treated exactly the way we allow ourselves to be treated.
The good news is that, because we are partly responsible, there is something we can do to create and maintain relationships where we are treated respectfully. That’s great news! By focusing on ourselves and the changes we can make in our own behaviors and reactions, we can begin to take control of how other people treat us—today!
Remember....
"There is no exercise better for the heart than reaching down and lifting people up" ~ John Andrews
“ If you don’t have nothing nice to say…say nothing at all” unknown
Attitude is everything in "All We Do"....
Hello There!
I was reading an article the other day by Lt. Col Will Roberts titled “You deserve what you tolerate” I thought I would pass it along to you all as well…He was speaking of a certain phrase that was stuck in his head in which a co- worker had introduced him to. The quote he was referring to was the title to his article “You Deserve what you tolerate” He couldn’t tell where the origin comes from but that isn’t important ; What is important is the quote embodies the Air Force’s Core Value of “Excellence in All We Do” and can help guide your professional life. After all, if you hold yourself and those around you to the highest standards, there is no need to tolerate anything less.
Please read on I think you will find some wisdom in what he had written…
“You deserve what you tolerate” by Will Roberts
In today’s world of forced political correctness, many people believe tolerance is a positive attribute. Under many circumstances, few people would object to this perspective, However, we simply cannot afford to tolerate substandard actions or behaviors regardless of their perceived superficiality.
We strive for perfection in business and in our lives and we each possess our own set of standards or values that serve to guide our actions and tolerance of others. Following are a few ideas on how to fine-tune your own standards and how to deal with those actions or behaviors deemed substandard. You must first determine and define what you personally deem as acceptable or tolerable.
Most of us had parents who did their best to provide us with a solid foundation for life. They taught us the difference between right and wrong, moral and immoral and legal and illegal. If for some reason, you missed these life lessons and find yourself lacking good moral compass, don’t give up. Seek out sources to establish your own guide. Look to someone you respect (and they respect you too), a friend ( one’s you can trust), co-worker, or supervisor. If the member is well respected by their peers as well as their supervisors, they are probably a good role model to emulate… ( do they have honesty and integrity in all they do?)
Ask them to mentor you…its all right. They will probably be thrilled to take you under their wing and share their thoughts and perspectives with you.
Establishing your own moral and ethical guide does not happen overnight, the process takes time. You might find what you are willing to tolerate change over time!
The next step is the hardest:
Taking action once an unwanted action or behavior is identified. Most people know what is acceptable and what is unacceptable, but are unwilling to act when confronted with the task of correcting the unacceptable behavior. Some are concerned about being perceived as the bad guy and some just willingly pass the buck. Some believe it’s not their job, while others simply don’t like confrontation and avoid it at all cost… The problem with all these approaches is that the action or behavior never gets addressed and failing to address it, in the end, is the same as condoning it
Remember, our business demands nothing short of perfection and it’s all too easy to continually tolerate what we perceive as minor infractions. So, Where do we draw the line????
By: Lt. Col Will Roberts
Wow ! That was powerful! Attitude is everything in“all we do”! Have a positive attitude in “all we do”!
Let me conclude with something I heard on a recent conference call…
Jim Rohn-“ 3 key question to ask yourself” … That was truly enlightening!
***Remember that sometimes your attitude is affected mostly by those you surround yourself with. Ask yourself 3 Key questions. 1.Who am I around?, 2.What are they doing to me, got me doing, acting thinking or feeling 3. Is that ok? If those people are affecting you negatively, pulling you down! Then you have a major decision to make…Disassociation, limited association, and of course expanded associations to get around positive people that exhibit character/dependability, honesty/integrity, optimistic, encouraging & uplifting. ***
One of my favorite quotes by John Andrews ! He said” there is no exercise better for the heart than reaching down and lifting people up”
Have a Blessed Day!
Tina & Michael Terry
I was reading an article the other day by Lt. Col Will Roberts titled “You deserve what you tolerate” I thought I would pass it along to you all as well…He was speaking of a certain phrase that was stuck in his head in which a co- worker had introduced him to. The quote he was referring to was the title to his article “You Deserve what you tolerate” He couldn’t tell where the origin comes from but that isn’t important ; What is important is the quote embodies the Air Force’s Core Value of “Excellence in All We Do” and can help guide your professional life. After all, if you hold yourself and those around you to the highest standards, there is no need to tolerate anything less.
Please read on I think you will find some wisdom in what he had written…
“You deserve what you tolerate” by Will Roberts
In today’s world of forced political correctness, many people believe tolerance is a positive attribute. Under many circumstances, few people would object to this perspective, However, we simply cannot afford to tolerate substandard actions or behaviors regardless of their perceived superficiality.
We strive for perfection in business and in our lives and we each possess our own set of standards or values that serve to guide our actions and tolerance of others. Following are a few ideas on how to fine-tune your own standards and how to deal with those actions or behaviors deemed substandard. You must first determine and define what you personally deem as acceptable or tolerable.
Most of us had parents who did their best to provide us with a solid foundation for life. They taught us the difference between right and wrong, moral and immoral and legal and illegal. If for some reason, you missed these life lessons and find yourself lacking good moral compass, don’t give up. Seek out sources to establish your own guide. Look to someone you respect (and they respect you too), a friend ( one’s you can trust), co-worker, or supervisor. If the member is well respected by their peers as well as their supervisors, they are probably a good role model to emulate… ( do they have honesty and integrity in all they do?)
Ask them to mentor you…its all right. They will probably be thrilled to take you under their wing and share their thoughts and perspectives with you.
Establishing your own moral and ethical guide does not happen overnight, the process takes time. You might find what you are willing to tolerate change over time!
The next step is the hardest:
Taking action once an unwanted action or behavior is identified. Most people know what is acceptable and what is unacceptable, but are unwilling to act when confronted with the task of correcting the unacceptable behavior. Some are concerned about being perceived as the bad guy and some just willingly pass the buck. Some believe it’s not their job, while others simply don’t like confrontation and avoid it at all cost… The problem with all these approaches is that the action or behavior never gets addressed and failing to address it, in the end, is the same as condoning it
Remember, our business demands nothing short of perfection and it’s all too easy to continually tolerate what we perceive as minor infractions. So, Where do we draw the line????
By: Lt. Col Will Roberts
Wow ! That was powerful! Attitude is everything in“all we do”! Have a positive attitude in “all we do”!
Let me conclude with something I heard on a recent conference call…
Jim Rohn-“ 3 key question to ask yourself” … That was truly enlightening!
***Remember that sometimes your attitude is affected mostly by those you surround yourself with. Ask yourself 3 Key questions. 1.Who am I around?, 2.What are they doing to me, got me doing, acting thinking or feeling 3. Is that ok? If those people are affecting you negatively, pulling you down! Then you have a major decision to make…Disassociation, limited association, and of course expanded associations to get around positive people that exhibit character/dependability, honesty/integrity, optimistic, encouraging & uplifting. ***
One of my favorite quotes by John Andrews ! He said” there is no exercise better for the heart than reaching down and lifting people up”
Have a Blessed Day!
Tina & Michael Terry
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